


Forget Me Not, Forgive Me Not

by orphan_account



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Multi, Super Angst, car crash, i don't know how to write hospitals but i loved this idea too much, this is actual garbage, this isn't how amnesia works, with a kinda happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 09:23:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7678993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan, in a fit of jealous rage, packs a bag and tries to run away. He ends up in the hospital, with no memory of the grumps or NSP. When his lost memories uncovers an affection for Barry, they have no idea how Arin will react. Even worse, Barry doesn't know how much longer he can restrain his own feelings with Dan all over him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forget Me Not, Forgive Me Not

**Author's Note:**

> This could have been a lot longer and way better but I kinda got lazy and I really hate myself for it. But, hey, if this inspires you to write a longer, better version of this please please tell me I'd love you forever. Also, I don't know how correct I am about amnesia, I wrote this when I had no wifi oops.

Dan sighed quietly, back hunched against the wall of his bedroom. His and Arin’s bedroom. He really had no right to be as sad as he was, after all Suzy was there first. Suzy was his number one. He was just the boyfriend, not the wife.

He didn’t want to sit on the bed, didn’t even wanna be in the room, honestly. Barry was too caring though. He’d ask too many question and Dan...well, Dan may give too many answers. Then Barry will tell Arin, and Arin will feel guilty. Then Dan will feel bad for making Arin feel guilty, and there’ll be a few days where Dan gets all the attention before it’s back on Suzy.

He felt tears well up in his eyes. The look in Arin’s eyes told him he wouldn’t be home that night. 

“Home.” Yeah right. This was just a place Arin slept every now and then. It wasn’t his home, and Dan didn’t know if it was his either. Maybe he could run away before Arin came back. Maybe he could get away for awhile, put everything on hold and deal with himself. After all, he was the star that would never shine as bright. He closed his eyes, and all he could imagine was Arin. Arin, grinning with relief. Finally, he wouldn’t have to deal with Dan’s dead weight. Arin, laughing with all the other grumps, all of them free of the downer that was Dan Avidan.

His eyes popped open, tears streaking down his cheeks. Fuck this. He stood up, packing a bag full of clothing, his laptop, chargers. He slid his phone and wallet into his pocket, tossed the bag over his shoulder. Opened the bedroom door, grabbed the keys off the kitchen counter.

“Dan?” 

He froze in the doorway.

“Where are you going?” Barry asked, “you know Arin isn’t home, right? He’s out with Suzy.”

“Isn’t he fucking always?” Dan spat, gripping the keys tighter. The jagged edges bit into his palm. 

He heard Barry recoil slightly.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Barry.”

“Where are you going?”

Dan shot Barry a searing glare he knew he didn’t deserve. His vision blurred with tears.

“I’m going out. Is that okay with you?”

Barry just stepped back, turning around to continue making his sandwich. Dan headed out the door, slamming it behind him. He knew he had hurt Barry, and it caused a burning regret in his chest. He got in the car, turned on the engine, tossed the bag in the back seat. He forewent a seatbelt, wanting to just get out. As he was backing out, he saw Barry poke his head out of the doorway. The engine roared over his voice, and Dan was gone. Cruising down the road, he hated everything. He was angry at everything. He approached an intersection, speeding up to make the green light. He glanced to the side, just in time to see another car hurtling towards him before it all went dark.

When he opened his eyes again he was..somewhere. It was all white, and beeping machines surrounded him. He briefly wondered if he’d cut too deep again, but the ache all over his body said something else. Maybe he had wandered into the wrong part of Philly again and gotten the shit kicked out of him. He wouldn’t be surprised.

An attempt to sit up resulted in him crying out. A body jerked to awareness next to him, he hadn’t even realised there was someone else here this time. He slowly turned his head to the side, seeing a built man with shoulder length brown hair and what he was sure would be a blonde streak if the hair wasn’t so tousled. Who was this guy?

“Dan?” the mystery man said.

“Who are you?” Dan questioned quietly. How did this guy know his name?

“I’m-I’m Arin. Arin Hanson? Grump? Egoraptor? B-Big Cat?” the man grew increasingly more anxious as every name was met with confusion.

“Arin,” a quiet voice came from the corner. It was a woman with ebony hair and a matching blonde streak. She had tied her hair up in a ponytail, though her face was beautifully made up. Arin sighed quietly, moving to stand slowly. 

The doctor walked in at that moment, staring down at a clip board. 

“Mr. Hanson, I ought to let you know that because of the blow to Mr. Avidan’s head he may have amnesia. Though we won’t know how bad it is until--”

The doctor looked up, seeing Dan’s wide eyes.

“--he’s awake..”

The woman in the corner bit her lip, stifling a giggle though her eyes held no mirth.

“May I speak to you two in the hallway?” the doctor asked quietly, ushering them out of the room.

Dan stared at the ceiling, listening to the hushed voices as he went through his memories. The last thing he remembered is walking back to his Philly apartment, hoping it wouldn’t start raining before they got the sandbags up. Then everything went dark and here he was, apparently with amnesia. He didn’t want to believe it but it did add up.

He didn’t remember anything about those people, but Arin had caused a twinge of pain in his chest, the twinge he usually got when he had an anxiety attack or had a breakdown. He didn’t like it.

The doctor came back in eventually, clipboard tucked under his arm.

“Leigh Avidan?”

“Call me Dan.”

“Of course, Dan. A few friends are here, would you mind seeing them?”

Dan thought about it for a second.

“M-Maybe one or two at a time. Arin and that lady last..”

The doctor nodded, exiting the room. Minutes later, a shorter man came in. He had a scruffy beard and green eyes, his smile almost tentative. His appearance made Dan feel warm and fuzzy, and he had a faint memory of guilt.

“Dan,” his voice was soft, relieved, “I’m Barry, your roommate.”

“Barry,” Dan tested the name in his mouth, and memories of him and Barry playing video games in the living room together and cooking dinner came trickling back. There were still more holes than memories but it was something, a good something. “Barry Kramer.”

Barry grinned widely, eyes lighting up as he nodded. They talked briefly, Barry filling him on what happened. His voice was meek when he told Dan that he had tried to stop him from driving but didn’t want to start a fight between them. Dan pulled him down for a hug, ignoring the searing pain it caused all over his body.

Barry ruffled his hair gently, causing pleasant tingles all over his body. He remembered it being done before by..someone. Before he could examine the memory enough to figure it out, Barry was walking out. He was replaced soon after by a bright blue eyed man with light brown hair.

“Ross,” Dan mumbled.

“Yeah! You remember me!”

There was a hint of an accent in his words (Australian, his mind faintly reminded him). His appearance filled in a few more holes, and he sat down. He talked endlessly about himself, his current animation project (Something-overse) and other pointless things. It wasn’t until almost twenty minutes had passed that a woman with light pink hair peeked in.

“Ross,” she said amusedly.

“And I thought I had lost the entire animation but you--Holly!”

Holly laughed, walking over to ruffle Ross’ hair. 

“Danny, this is my wife, Holly,” Ross grinned proudly, as if he were expecting Dan to be amazed. He didn’t know why, they seemed perfect for eachother. Holly persuaded Ross to leave and let someone else have a turn, pressing a gentle kiss to Dan’s forehead before leaving. He felt the relaxed warmth of Ross’ endless talking slowly filter out as he waited for the next person. 

Brian was next. With him came a tsunami of memories. Recording in his sandbag apartment, standing on stage infront of five, ten, a hundred, five thousand, ten thousand people. Dancing, grinning, breathless. Brian holding him when he got overwhelmed, Brian making endless dick jokes, helping him out of an anxiety attack before a concert, coming over from London to write songs about dicks. Quitting his job as a professor for him. Moving out to California for him. He barely had to say a word before Dan was grinning.

“Brian.”

Brian just chuckled quietly, “Daniel.”

They talked about everything, Brian filling in any holes in Dan’s before-grump memories. It took barely ten minutes and then he was gone with a passing threat of a hot beej. Dan was still giggling when Arin and his lady friend walked in.

“Danny,” Arin said quietly.

“Arin,” Dan replied. There was a confusing twist in his chest. Something warm and frigid, it made him nauseous.

Memories filtered back, him and Arin playing a video game. Arin screaming his head off at the TV. Arin laughing at something Dan said. Arin laughing at something she said. Suzy. Arin and Suzy were married. Dan pressed against his bedroom wall, sobbing because of Arin. He didn’t know what Arin had done, but it was Arin’s fault. The warm was overtaken by the frigid, the warm memories buried beneath cold, angry ones. Barry.

Barry had tried to stop him. Arin had left him to go with Suzy. Barry cared. Arin wasn’t there.

He was faintly aware of Arin talking, but he left only a few minutes later. Probably because he was so unresponsive.

He was alone again, and he felt cold. So, so cold. The doctor came in quietly.

“Dan?”

Dan’s head snapped up, “huh? Oh, doctor..”

“Dr. McKitterick. Are you okay? Did any of them jog your memory?”

“Some more than others, and a lot of stuff is still foggy, but I remember a lot more than I did.”

Dr. McKitterick nodded, scribbling something on her clipboard.

“You still have a few visiting hours, would you like them all to come in?”

Dan nodded.

The doctor nodded, a soft smile on her face as she exited the room. Barry, Brian, Ross, and Holly reentered his room, soft smiles on each of their faces.

Arin and Suzy weren’t there.

Barry sat closest, literally sitting on the edge of the bed. Ross took the chair, Holly settling on his lap, and Brian just leaned against the wall. There was quiet chatter around the room, no one acknowledging Arin and Suzy’s absence while talking about it constantly. No one mentioned them, even in passing, but it spoke volumes. Barry stroked his hand through Dan’s hair casually as he talked, lulling him into a doze. At some point, his head had been moved from the uncomfortable pillow to the soft cotton of Barry’s sweatpants (which meant he didn’t take them time to change, a rare occurrence) and he fell asleep.

“Excuse me,” a soft voice said from the doorway, “visiting hours are almost over.”

Everyone looked over at the nurse, who looked almost upset that he had to kick out all these people. Though everyone else stood up, however begrudgingly, Barry was pinned to the bed. He tried to slide out from under the slumbering man but was met by a groan of disapproval and a head being pressed into his stomach. Everyone paused by the door, looking from Barry to the nurse.

The nurse bit his lip, leaning out to glance around the hallway.

“I’ll talk to you, everyone else please leave.”

Holly ushered the two men out, letting the door click shut behind them.

“What are you to him?” the nurse asked quietly.

Barry knew what he had to say, and it certainly wasn’t roommate or friend, but he didn’t know if Dan would approve. Fuck it.

“Boyfriend.”

The nurse nodded, “just..stay quiet and don’t leave this room.”

Barry nodded, watching the nurse exit before shifting. Dan groaned, eyes blinking open blearily as Barry shifted to lay down on the narrow bed.

Dan curled into his side, pressing into the younger’s gentle hand in his hair. He had a sewed up gash on his forehead that would make the exaggerated eyebrow scar on his grump head not so exaggerated anymore and a slowly healing split lip. There was a large bruise just below his sleepy brown eyes.

“Bear,” Dan mumbled, barely audible.

“Dan.”

“I love you, Bear,” the lithe man mumbled, eyes slipping shut. His breathing evened out slowly.

Barry, however, was far from sleep now. Had Dan just said he loves him? What would Arin say? It must’ve been platonic, right? So why did it sound so much like the ‘I love you’s Dan and Arin shared during the interlude of sleepy grumps? He shook off his panicked thoughts, settling back. It was too late for this shit, he could deal with it tomorrow. He fell asleep to the sound of Dan’s soft breathing and the river-like burble of his own thoughts.

=

Dan awoke slowly the next day, listening to the heartbeat of whoever was under him. He didn’t much care, it didn’t feel like Arin and that was all that mattered at the moment. He blinked his eyes open sleepily, humming unhappily at the ache in his body. Nothing seemed to be broken, thankfully, but there was more bruises and cuts than he liked. He tilted his head back, looking up at his current teddy bear. And wasn’t that a coincidence. Barry’s breathing was slow, and he looked peaceful in his sleep. There were faint bags under his eyes, and Dan could only hum disapprovingly. Even with all the holes in his memory, he made it his mission to make sure Barry got sleep. 

He was sifting through all the memories he had acquired, staring unseeingly at Barry when said man woke up. He briefly pulled Dan closer, letting go abruptly when he let out an uncomfortable whine. His eyes snapped open, a dark blush on his face. Dan just looked up at him, clueless and innocent. They were still in this position when the door opened, two sets of footsteps walking in. One was urgent, the other more skittish. Both froze just beyond the door.

Barry’s eyes flicked over to the intruders, widening comically.

“A-Arin.”

“Barry,” Arin’s voice responded, half confused half upset, “What’re you doing here?”

“O-oh well after you left--”

“He left..?” Dan questioned, inexplicably hurt by this.

Barry was sliding out of the bed and Dan’s still slumbering muscles couldn’t hold on tight enough to stop him. He rolled over on his back, sitting up slowly. There was still a sharp pain in his ribs and stomach and an odd stretching feeling on his back but it was more bearable than yesterday.

“You left. Of fucking course you left,” Dan growled darkly, “you always leave.”

Arin looked taken aback at this.

“Dan, babe--”

“Babe? Arin, what the fuck?”  
“We..” Arin paused, bit his lip, “I don’t know where that came from.”

Dan, beyond confused, gripped his hair.

“God damnit, Arin, why can’t I remember? I wanna remember!”

Arin had nothing to say to that.

Dan stared at his feet sticking up from under the hospital blanket.

“I wanna go home.”

Barry bit his lip, “the doctor said--”

“I don’t care, I don’t wanna be here!”

Arin’s lip quivered, “I-I’ll take you--”

“No, you won’t. I don’t wanna go home with you.”

Barry left the room swiftly.

There was a tense silence following his exit, in which Arin didn’t know what to say and Dan prayed he would leave. After an uncomfortable sixty seconds of nothing but breathing, Dan asked a nearly inaudible question.

“Do you hate me..?”

“What? Dan, no!”

“So why do you always leave?”

“I don’t--”

“You do know what I’m talking about, and the longer this goes on, so do I.”

Arin fell silent again.

“Well?”

“I don’t know.”

“You do. Maybe I don’t, not fully, but you do.”

“Suzy is my wife.”

“Uh huh, and what am I?”

Just as he opened his mouth to answer, Barry pushed open the door with a wheelchair.

“Get in, loser,” he joked, hoping to disperse some of the tension.

“How did you..?” Arin started to ask.

“It involved lots of begging, a promise to not let him out of my sight for the next week, and,” Barry cleared his throat, “and a nurse that thought I was his boyfriend.”

“His what?!” Arin shouted, face growing red.

“Arin--”

“Barry, how could you?!”

“Arin, not here,” Barry said firmly, “ream my ass later, I don’t care, but not here. Not now.”

Arin stood, nearly knocking over his chair in the process as he stormed out of the room. Suzy just sent Barry a biting glare before following her husband out the door. Barry sighed, tugging the blanket off of Dan and helping him swing his feet over the edge of the bed.  
The nurse from last night poked his head into the room, followed by his arm. Dan’s backpack dangled from his fingers, faux leather wallet tucked in the side pocket.

“I’m not sure how intact all the items in this bag are, but it seems like it was mostly clothes and you might wanna change..”

Barry reached out for the bag gratefully, leaning forward to take it when the nurse shuffled over to hand it to him. He unzipped the bag, pulling out a clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt as well as the cracked laptop.

“Aw, man,” Dan mumbled, running his hand over the apple logo. He flipped it open, pouting slightly at the shattered screen but glad to see that it still turned on.

Barry shut it again, placing it aside.

“Dan, I, um, I gotta undress you, man.”

“At least buy me dinner first, Bear,” the older man snarked, slowly raising his arms.

Barry laughed quietly, tugging off his shirt. Bruises marred his pale torso, a long, stitched up laceration running from below his right collarbone to just below his left nipple. The shattered windshield had cut him in too many places to count when the car flipped over, but this was by far the worst physical injury. At least, it looked it. Barry supposed the cracked ribs may be more painful than this but what did he know?

He slid the clean shirt over Dan’s head, straightening it before sliding his fingers into the waistband of the sweatpants. Clearing his throat, he tugged them down. Luckily, Dan’s legs hadn’t taken too much damage and were relatively okay apart from the light bruises and cuts on his knees (damn those ripped jeans).

“Like what you see?” Dan teased with a wiggle of his hips.

Barry laughed quietly, tapping his thigh before pulling the pants on him as well.

“Sure. Can you walk?”

“I thought that’s what the wheelchair was for.”

“That’s more for show if you can walk.”

Dan shrugged slightly, sliding slowly off the table and adjusting his pants. He stumbled slightly, falling against Barry before regaining his footing.

“Guess I’m lucky, huh?”

“What do you mean?” Barry questioned, helping the taller man over to the wheelchair.

“Well, usually people go into comas or lose their legs or something crazy when the get into a car wreck. I just got banged up and my clearest memories are putting up sandbags in my apartment in Philly.”

Barry hummed, stuffing the laptop back into the bag and zipping it up before tossing in over his shoulder before pushing Dan out of the room.

The older man’s head rolled back and he looked up at Barry with warm chocolate eyes.

“You’re so quiet.”

“S’kinda my thing.”

Dan chuckled, tilting his head, “you’ve got a nice voice, you should talk more.”

Barry shrugged, signing off on a few papers before pushing Dan outside.

“Ah fuck.”

“Hm?”

“Ross gave me a ride here, I don’t have a car,” Barry replied, digging his phone out of his pocket and tapping at the screen.

“Well, you do. Just not here.”

“Hush, you,” Barry chuckled, lifting the phone to his ear.

There were a few muffled rings before a sleepy voice picked up.

“I need a ride...you drove me here, douche, I’m your responsibility...I can’t, I’m with Dan...Yeah, whatever...okay, if you aren’t here within ten minutes I’m calling Brian..”

(here a muffled “What?! I live twenty minutes away!” could be heard)

“Guess you better hurry, dude,” Barry snarked, grinning as he hung up.

Dan was looking up at him dazedly, eyes roaming his face like he was trying to memorise it.

“What can’t you do while you’re with me?” he asked quietly.

“Uh, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“It has to do with Arin, doesn’t it?”

“No.”

“So look me in the eyes.”

Barry sighed, running his fingers through Dan’s hair.

“You’re too smart for your own good,” he mumbled, looking down at his friend.

Dan hummed, “I’m like fuckin’ Einstein, dude.”

Barry laughed, leaning down to press a kiss to Dan’s forehead. Woah, where did that come from. He froze, eyes wide as he looked down at the lanky man. Dan hand his eyes shut plesantly, looking for all the world like it was the most normal thing he could’ve done. When his eyes opened again, Barry had controlled his expression, though he felt a blush rise at the look on Dan’s face. It was soft, lover-like.

“I love you, Bear,” he murmured quietly.

Barry was saved from having to respond by Ross pulling up and yelling.

“Get in the car, fucker, I just broke a million laws to get here!”

Barry laughed, opening the rear door and helping Dan in. He contemplated the wheelchair for a moment before deciding to just leave it by the hospital door. When he turned back around, Ross was inching the car forward ever so slowly.

“I’m leaving without you!” he yelled, biting his lip as though he were speeding away.

Barry snorted, walking over and sliding in the backseat with Dan. He clicked on both their seatbelts and tried to ignore Dan’s head on his shoulder. It must be the painkillers right? Speaking of.

“Hey, Ross, think we could stop off at the pharmacy first? I need to pick up painkillers for Dan.”

“Yeah, sure, dude. Wanna go to a strip club, too? Minus well, while you have me playing chauffer,” Ross snarked, though there was nothing but friendly humour in his voice.

“Holly would ki-kill you,” Barry stuttered, blushing when he felt the scratch of stubble and chapped lips on his neck. He thanked god that Ross had managed to break his rearview mirror during their last road trip and hadn’t yet gotten a new one.

“Fair enough,” Ross replied, barely noticing the stutter.

The rest of the ride was pretty much silent, Ross playing Dan’s playlist in hopes of jogging some memories. Dan was paying no attention, however, too busy kissing and nipping Barry’s neck. Barry was silent, both praying for Dan to stop and hoping it would never end. He refused to admit he had a crush on Dan (he had almost made a move, but Arin got him first) and chose to remain with that decision, at least until he got his memory back completely. 

They pulled up to the pharmacy window, being too lazy to get out and drag Dan to the back of Walgreens, just as Dan started singing along to Rush. He whined when it got paused, leaning forward to peek out Ross’s window.

“I’m here to pick up a prescription for Leigh Daniel Avidan,” Ross said confidently.

“Okay, one moment,” the pharmacist replied, tapping away at her computer.

“Do you have Mr. Avidan in the car with you?”

The lady asked, raising her eyebrow at Ross. Ross didn’t blame her, those were probably some strong meds and there was absolutely no resemblance between them.

“Yeah, he’s in the back seat. C’mere, Danny.”

Dan pushed the seat belt down over his stomach as to avoid his chest and leaned into the front seat with a dopey grin. The lady giggled, typing again before disappearing. Dan disappeared into the back seat again, pressing against Barry. While they waited, Ross decided to turn on ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’, which resulted in an excited Dan groping Barry’s thigh and singing loudly along with Ross. Apparently, it could be heard inside the pharmacy as the woman was laughing when she came back with the bag, placing it into the little tray.

“That’ll be five dollars,” she said politely.

“Fuck,” Ross grumbled, shifting and squirming to tug out his wallet and pull out a five, “you owe me, Danny.”

The woman laughed, pushing out the tray. She gave Barry and Dan a slightly smug look as Ross grabbed the bag, put the bill in the tray and drove away, still unaware of what was going on in the backseat.

He dropped them off, handing Barry the bag and getting out to open the rear door. Luckily, Dan moved away and allowed himself to be helped out of the car and practically carried to the door. Barry was pitching a tent that his sweatpants did nothing to hide and Dan look pleased as a peach about it. 

“Seeya, dude!” Barry called back as he unlocked the door. 

“Seeya, Barry!” Ross called back, backing out of the driveway.

He pushed open the door, kicked off his shoes, and set the backpack down gently by the door. He tugged Dan over to the couch setting him down and reading the instructions for the pills. He didn’t notice the creeping hand until he was being palmed through his sweatpants (and, honestly, he shouldn’t have put his crotch in Dan’s face). He cried out, jumping back in surprise.

“J-Jesus, Dan!” Barry gasped, trying to ignore the hurt look on his face.

“Barry,” Dan pouted.

“Y-you can’t do that, okay?”

“But why not? You took care of me, what if I wanna take care of you?”

Barry took a deep breath, and he knew his next words might start a fight.

“You can’t, you’re with Arin and, and you have amnesia and you’re higher than a kite right now. It’d be fucked up.”

“I’m...with...Arin?” Dan said slowly, face twisting in confusion as memories slowly trickled back. Memories of Arin asking him out, his excited yes, sex in the grump room, sleepy words at three am, being ignored, crying over Arin, stupid jokes, being ignored, passing kisses, being ignored, being ignored, being ignored. He felt hot tears rise in his eyes, threatening to spill over as the memories came swirling back. He loved Arin, with all he had and all he got in return was barely-there affection. Sure, he was an amazing friend but beyond that there seemed to be nothing to their relationship. Friends with benefits, that’s all they really were. 

Barry was shocked into silence, barely managing to drop down next to Dan to comfort him. The scrawny man to a shuddering breath, sobbing into Barry’s shoulder.

“Barry, he didn’t love me,” he whined, tears streaming down his face in rivers.

“He did love you, Dan,” Barry mumbled quietly.

Now that he thought about it, however, Dan and Arin never really seemed like they were in a relationship, and it’s not like they tried to hide it in the office. In fact, for the first week they were like the annoying couple at highschool who made everyone else’s relationships seem inferior, but once the novelty of it wore off it was like it had never even happened. Barry supposed they always acted like a couple, at least a little bit, but even the casual office kisses stopped and they were nothing more than platonic. It was a shock whenever Arin actually leaned over to peck Danny on the lips. Sadly, it was less shocking when Arin rejected a kiss from Dan.

Barry couldn’t believe he had missed it, firmly believing that acting on his Dan crush would only result in awkwardness and him ruining a happy relationship when, in reality, he might have been saving Dan from the pain of (seemingly) unrequited love. Maybe he wouldn’t, maybe he was just flattering himself. Either way, he was ashamed for not noticing when his roommate would enter the kitchen with red eyes and a stuffy nose, not noticing how sad he was.

His voice was almost inaudible as he mumbled, “oh my god..he didn’t love you, Dan..”

Dan just looked up at him with sad eyes, “I don’t think he did. Do,” Dan took a deep breath, “Do you love me, Bear?”

Barry froze. The answer was yes. Yes he loved Dan, but was the the correct answer? He was still high off the painkillers (which he may need again soon, Barry reminded himself) and Barry didn’t know how much of his memory he actually had back. Enough to connect the dots, he supposed. Fuck it, he could just call it a dream later.

“Yeah. I love you, Dan.”

Dan curled into Barry’s side, head resting on his shoulder. It couldn’t possibly comfortable, pressing against his bruised torso and stitches in a way that might make in worse.

“I-I meant it, when I said it before. I may be high as shit and have holes in my memory the size of the grand fucking canyon, but I love you, Barry Kramer.”

Barry took a deep breath, readjusted Dan into a more comfortable position, and turned to press a soft kiss to his lips. He knew it might be wrong, but he couldn’t help but feel so right when Dan returned the kiss. God, that sounded so cliche.

“What the fuck?!”

Barry jerked away from Dan, turning to the door with wide eyes. Arin stood there, face somewhere between confused and livid.

“A-Arin,” Barry said, pushing Dan away slightly, “w-we were just--”

“Making out? Barry, what the fucking shit, dude?!”

“W-well--”

“He’s high, he has fucking amnesia, and he’s my fucking boyfriend!”

“Arin,” Dan said, voice loud and clear, “fuck you.”

“Wh-What?” Arin stuttered, the fight draining out of his body.

“Fuck. You. You don’t love me.”

Arin’s eyes darted from Dan to Barry then back again, “of course I do. Wait, do you-do you have your memories back then..? All of them?”

Dan paused, contemplated lying.

“No, a lot is still missing, but it’s enough to be sure of everything I’m saying.”

“Dan--”

“Arin,” Dan said sternly, “look me in the eyes and tell me that you’re in love with me.”

Arin stared at his feet, “I love you, Dan.”

“You aren’t in love with me. You never were.”

Arin looked up, eyes pleading, “I-I thought I was, really I did! B-but you seemed so happy, I-I couldn’t break up with you after a week.”

Dan just nodded, he couldn’t hate Arin for that. He could hate him for just giving up, though.

“It would’ve been less painful, Arin.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean watching you be happy with Suzy as a friend would be easier than being ignored as a boyfriend. Besides, it would’ve let me go after other people,” Dan said, squeezing Barry’s hand for emphasis.

Arin looked like a kicked puppy.

“I never said you couldn’t go after other people.”

“Arin, I was too wrapped up in my anger and jealousy over you to focus on anyone else.”

“I-I’m sorry..”

Dan stood up slowly, Barry rising next to him to help him walk around the couch to face Arin. 

“Arin,” the lanky man mumbled, tilting his head up to lock eyes, “I forgive you, because you had good intentions, but you can’t do that to someone.”

Arin nodded.

“I..I think I have something to tell you,” the animator murmured.

“Go for it.”

“I..I may have crush on Ross.”

“Maybe give yourself time to recover from this, Big Cat.”

Arin nodded, wrapping his arms around Dan.

“I love you, Danny. I’m sorry I’m such a dick.”

“I love you, too, Ar. See you later this week for a grump session?”

“Are you sure your up for it?”

“Totally, dude!” Dan grinned, not noticing Arin look at Barry or Barry’s subtle headshake.

Arin laughed, “okay, whatever you say, dude.”

He turned, stopped in front of the door, looked back at Dan.

They smiled sheepishly at each other before Arin left.

Barry dragged Dan back over to lay on the couch, laying him down with his head in his lap.

“No more strenuous activity for you, Leigh.”

Dan hummed, “I like it when you use my first name.”

Barry chuckled, running his fingers through the curly puffball that Dan called hair.

“Flattery will get you no where.”

“Neither will flatulence, but have you smelled the grump couch?”

“What does that even mean?”

“I dunno.”

Barry laughed, shifting to lay down on the couch. Dan crawled up his chest, careful not to bump or drag his stitches, to nuzzle the younger man’s neck gently. Barry stroked the taller man’s back, listening as his breathing evened out and turned into soft snores. 

He didn’t contemplate anything too much. Maybe Dan was just too high to make romantic decisions, and that was okay. In the down time between pills, Barry would ask. Maybe Dan was missing some key memories that would change alter his decision. That was okay, too. Barry went this long without him, and now at least he knew he wouldn’t be hurting over Arin. For now, he just soaked in the feelings around him. Dan’s soft breath heating up a small patch of his chest, his weight pressed against his side, the smell of his hair (which kinda needed a wash..whew),the sound of his soft, slow breathing.

It might work out.


End file.
